It was late in the evening. Visiting hours at the hospital had long since finished. Our newborn daughter, whom I had traumatically delivered a few days earlier, was safe and snug in the care of the nursery staff. I walked, or waddled really, arm in arm with my husband to the after-hours exit door.
After a lingering kiss goodnight, I stood leaning against the door frame and watched as he disappeared into the night. I was overwhelmed with feelings of aloneness as tears trickled down my face.
I heard a cry rise from within, ‘God, I need my husband to be with me right now, but he can’t be. He can’t be here to hold me close; love me and tell me I’m going to be okay. He doesn’t understand my physical pain, or the jumble of my turmoiled emotions.’
Then, so crystal clear in the night’s stillness, I heard these words from my God, ‘I’m here, I will always be here.’ I don’t know whether they came audibly or from inside my mind somehow, but they were so real and so clear. The aloneness I had felt just moments before dissipated, and was replaced by a feeling of deep inner peace. It was as if I had been wrapped in a blanket of security.
As I paused in the doorway that night, God began to talk to me. He told me, ‘There are going to be times in your future when your husband, for any number of reasons, is not going to be able to be there with you, or for you. But remember, I always will be.’
I shut the door and waddled back down the long corridor pondering God’s words to me, ‘I will never leave you, I will always be with you.’
Over the span of all my years in ministry, I have found myself on multiple occasions, in a variety of different situations, when my husband, as deeply as he loves and cares for me, has not understood and has not been able to be there for me. But God always has been and always is.
To sustain effective ministry over many years it is essential for us to have God cemented in as our number one, in the place of priority in our lives. When God is first, though we live in a world of many, many, many things our natural, internal bias will always focus us back to the one thing. The one thing being God.
David says in Ps 27:4, ’One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty and delightfulness of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.’Continue Reading